Dyscalculia at 80

 2 of 6 flower arrangements to sell at the October Craft Fair and I made them all!

(Didn't find out the clear glue used to look like water takes up to 6 mos to solidify)

Now for the real post...

DYSLCALCULIA

One of the several learning disabilities under Dyslexia and I discovered it over the weekend. I must admit I had come across it before but only looked at the Dyslexia and decided I did fall somewhere in that, but the description didn't fully fit me the way I thought it should, so I just ignored it.

AND then along came this past weekend and for a reason I don't remember, I looked up dyslexia again and saw the "calcul" part of the word and was curious, so I clicked on it. Oh my... I still haven't really believed that there on the screen was nearly a perfect description of me and my experiences in learning and maintaining what I did learn. After all these years it's hard to believe there is an explanation for all the doubt and difficulty and wondering about why I just couldn't get it with numbers!

The thing is there's more to it than just not being able to memorize the multiplication tables when I was in elementary school. When I graduated from High School it was with only having completed General Math. No other math! None! And I barely passed it. When I was very young my grandmother lived with us, and she took care of my sister and me while my parents both worked. When I was, I think the 3rd grade she had me evaluated, with the permission of my parents, for mental retardation.

That didn't answer her concerns about my learning abilities because I passed just fine. That was in the mid 1950's, and I don't think the knowledge of the whole stream of dyslexia learning disabilities had yet been widely known if known at all. I was always a little concerned that she thought along those lines but now at 80 I realize that she knew something wasn't right. She just didn't know what. She had been a grade schoolteacher in her younger years. 

Along with not being able to think of numbers the way my classmates did is also a glitch in understanding things connected to what numbers are related to. To put it in real life I've always had difficulty with balancing a check book, even with a calculator. I worked at a bank several times and I could handle the money for the customer at my window. Make change, cash checks and take deposits. What I had extreme difficulty with was balancing at the end of the day. When things didn't balance, I could look at the calculator tape and not see anything. But the Head Cashier would take one look and find the mistake immediately. That was without comparing it to anything but the cash count.

There are many other things this disability touches which I won't go into...just google it if you are interested.  The real excitement came when I saw the following paragraph title "Superpowers"! As I read it, actually word for word the tears began to well up but never quite overflowed. The description was nearly perfect about things I can do artistically, how I intuitively know things, the insight that seems to turn out to be right usually and so on. And the way I think! How I seem to think of things outside the box in problem solving. Redesigning something that doesn't quite meet the need. The ability to rebuild, redesign and make a poor design of my own into something that works even though. As long as |I don't have to measure, or it doesn't have to be perfect in that aspect it's all good.

I once bought an old armoire redesigned it into an office piece with a fold out work surface for a desk, holes for the wires to go through in the back, shelves under the computer, shelves above for binders and papers. Instead of using the doors to the original piece, I replaced them with a couple of swing out rods that opened in the middle and hung curtains on both so that the inside of the cabinet could be closed from view. It worked great for a couple of months but then I noticed it was beginning to lean. That continued to continue until one day it became too obvious as I was sitting at the computer as it was moving. Ah phooey! I had a friend take it outside and break it apart and throw it in the dumpster. I knew then it was the measuring etc.                   

                                                                             The Cabinet    👀                                                                                     

That's my cat Iris.  First is the cabinet being dismantled in part. Second is the working cabinet. The piece propped up on the side is the inside of the front door. 

I'm so thankful even at this moment that all those years that I struggled with the reading, spelling, grammar and particularly numbers. Never be able to understand how grammar worked or math. With those two things being so primary, basic, in everyday living and I couldn't figure out why I just can't do either without a great deal of frustration and event tears at times. There's an answer, it's real and it's has absolutely nothing to do with my intelligence. And the plus is that in some areas I'm on the top side of above others.  

If this post at all interests, you for personal reasons...look it up!!!

This is me, Judy once again sitting at my monitor attached to my laptop on the desk, I assembled from two file cabinets and a board which resides in my craft room! This is where I create. Believe it or not I am apparently somewhat gifted with creative writing. I'm so much better for this information. It explains me to me.  Blessings to you each one. In the Cottage, I'm Gramms of Gramms Cottage Creations. Not a business just a name for my creations. 

Budgeting Social Security at 80, oh dear!

 You'd think that at 80 years old one would have mastered working with a monthly budget...you would think! Living on Social Security is not for the meek. When I think about it I think well how hard can it be? I get one check every month and it's the same amount every month.  Right? Right!

So what's the problem? 

Good question, what is the problem Judy?

Okay, I'll tell you the problem. The amount of the check never varies. It's always the same and the date I receive it is always the same unless the date it is due is on a weekend or holiday and then it comes on the Friday before it's due.

That sound's easy enough!

Let me finish. After setting up the due date with my apartment I then make arrangements with the bank. Then the month starts and the auto payments for rent, electricity and all the other regular payments to be made begin hitting the bank. So far so good.

Then one of the auto payments is increased from the merchant and you didn't get a warning, or at least you don't remember getting a notice soon. So one of the first checks bounce so you go look at your budget and discover one of the auto pays took 2 payments at the same time. So now you are in trouble. So you hurry up today to instigate a change on the spreadsheet you've been working off of. And so it goes for the next 2 weeks. It all looks pretty good with just a few minor number changes. Somewhere in the last week you get notification that a payment was not made. And you apparently spend the money because you thought all the payments have been clearing day by day and though there were a few surprises things are looking pretty good.

So because you are confident in the numbers, You start doing a little at a time of shopping. Then a bill  in the in box says that you had forgotten to pay. That sort of thing seems to continue on through the next 2 weeks and before you know it there's just  few dollars left.

AND THEN...the car starts acting up making loud tapping noises and it just keeps getting louder and then, oh no, the engine light comes on. Ok, that's it, time to call the mechanic. Now the car is in the garage until later this week and I' thinking about having it towed, that is if the insurance covers that reason for towing. I'll know that in the morning when I call the insurance. At this point I refuse to worry about where's the money coming from to fix the car?

Because there's no piggy bank or sock under the matteess and the wallet is empty there's only one other option.  If you're thinking what I'm thining thaen that one last option is "faith and trust" that The God that created all that is created is well able and even willing to see me through this and so that's where I am as I type. I'm hoping and continuing to pray asking for more favor than usual. That's what I'm determined to do is quite fretting over this issue at the beginning of already designated funds with nothing extra left...I trust that God will make a way....

To be continued

The Wedding

 Update...Wedding was  great and couple are  now Mr. and Mrs. and all the guests are gone, place is cleaned up and couple are on their honey moon. As for me? Whew, I've had a day of rest and plan on a couple more then hit the floor running toward the Craft Fair...have much to do but not today, tomorrow or the next day. It was fun, the wedding lovely and the reception great with lots of relatives to get caught up with. The couple will come back to their little cottage that's all fixed up and she is moved in for the most part, just her clothes and other personal items. The new life for them has begun, God bless them and their lies together, Amen

The painting has nothing to do with the Topic. It is one of the first paintings I actually sold. Painted in the 70's on  3/4" Plywood with Oils. My Mother had it professionally framed. I always liked it!

and now...

The Wedding

My youngest grandson is getting married to his long time girlfriend, fiance on Saturday next.  He is my husbands namesake so his first name is the last name and his middle name is my husbands middle name. He turned 19 earlier this year and is a remarkable young man. One some would call an old soul because of his level of maturity at such a young age. Just a  couple of years ago he earned and saved his money and bought a used VW before he had his license to drive.  How did he do that? Well, any money he got from gifts, paid odd jobs doing all sorts of things and as soon as legal his first job...he saved! He just saved! Every bit of it. I nearly couldn't believe it, but he did. 

Anyway, both sides of the families are in agreement  and it's just a wonderful and unusual gathering of two families helping  in the process of planning and getting ready for the big day.

 I'm the only grandparent on his side and his soon to be Bride has 3 but I haven't met them yet. I am part of the wedding party so I'm going to the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, wedding and reception dinner. I'm taking assorted cubed cheeses for the reception dinner. It's a small wedding with lots of the Bride's family pitching in using their many talents in dressmaking, baking and decorating and will be in a small Church that the couple have been attending for several years beginning in the lower grades of high school. Lots of family will attend. I do have to say that's it's much larger than my wedding. They are pretty much fixed for household needs through several wedding showers given in the last couple of months so there have been gifts galore.

I haven't been to a wedding since my youngest daughter got married as I recall and that was 25 years ago. I am ready though. Have had my outfit for a month at least. Thursday I'm going all out and getting a mani and a pedi, just because. I had to have a dress for the rehearsal and a different one for the wedding but I'm good and ready pretty much.  Such a big event and because much family will be around, I get to hold my 3 month old great grand daughter over the festivities and that's a super duper big deal. 

A little bit sad that my husband isn't alive to take it all in. He would have loved every minute and would have been in the middle of everything whether invited or not, he just woulda!  There will be a table set up at the reception I think with relative's pictures displayed so I've provided a good picture of him. I didn't know it's what's done now. Things do change. 

I'll be one of the oldest attending the big event. The Bride's grand parents are in their 80's also which means I won't be the oldest, just among the oldest.  Never thought of myself that way...hmmmm!

The couple are so young! That was my first thought! But...I was 18 and my husband had just turned 20 two months before we married. So, what can I say?  Except...they are so young. He has a full time job and has as much higher education as he intends at this point anyway. I'm not sure but I think he has an associates in business but I could be wrong. Yeah, he was home schooled so way advanced in his education compared to public school graduates. He was actually attending junior college while attending high school and a month after his high school graduation, he graduated from the 2 year college he was going to simultaneously/

Can you tell I'm amazed and very proud of this young man?

Today was a somewhat sad day because I gave my little companion Milo away and he left yesterday in the early evening for North Carolina. It was for the best for him and I know I needed to do it for him. The young woman I gave him to is the one who rescued him from the grassy area between the highway and the access road just outside of town nearly 2 years or more ago. She had him 3 days before she found me.

So, he's on his way with her and her other dog Otis whom Milo just loves and considers himself the little brother of.  And, it's been so quiet today and all his things are gone. I will eventually replace him with  a kitten but not until after the first of the new year.  Too many things on the calendar between now and then.

Well, this has been a long post but then it's been a little longer between posts this time so lots going on. I do hope those of you who are reading my posts enjoy this one. It is a little different but never-the-less life of a now 80 year old widow, still determined to live everyday completely all in! I truly hope the last few weeks have been successful and the ones following will also be prosperous even though the times we are living in seem to be against us. I know the One who can keep me where I need to be and I hope you do as well.

This is Judy in Gramms Cottage writing at 3:42am the day after Labor Day 2024, saying goodnight and peace be with you all.