How does lite conversation about people change to distructive conversation? Why do we talk about other people anyway? Really? I can think of examples that seem admirable like: Talking about the child that made straight A’s. Or the one that plays volley ball and how fun it is to watch. Even the girlfriend who won a blue ribbon at the Fair this year. Or about the new neighbor that moved in next door and how glad it to have someone in the empty house. And, how about yourself and how you made a big batch of chocolate chip cookies that were delicious. Is there anything wrong about this kind of talk? I don’t think so. It all seems to be positive and encouraging and fun, uplifting, light and interesting.
But real gossip doesn’t sound like that at all. In fact real gossip has common words that introduce what’s coming. How does gossip start? What happens to those leading sentences that makes them turn into gossip. I have noticed that sometimes when there is a break in conversation or a silence that it seems to be a set up for gossip to enter in. You might just pay attention to this and check it out to see if it’s true.
Word starters that signal gossip just entered the room and often introduce the invisable third person. Often when there’s a lull in the conversation you might hear:
“Did you know?“My friend told me”“You heard that?”“I have a prayer request for”“I saw and they
said”“I heard”
Notice that conversations are not usually whispered! A hand is not held up to shield our mouths as we spread our opinion, assumptions and speculation of what someone told. That is not our normal posture or body language when we are gossiping. The set up is normally casual and we just talk over a cup of coffee or on the phone or maybe as we visit on a Summer evening in the back yard as in this particular story of a short visit with a neighbor. We Joke and laugh often at someone else's expense.
This is how people are relating tol one another. It’s what we do. We’ve been doing it, I guess since the beginning of ever.
**taken from Chapter Two, Without Spot or Wrinkle by Judy Chase (that's me)
Gonna be a few more weeks, they say before, I actually have a book in hand. In the mean time planning my marketing tactics. But I'll talk about that next time.
In the recliner, watching a Christmas movie of all things! Blessed and totally comfy. Leave a comment if you'd like. Sure am interested in what you have to say. Judy here on a Monday night.
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